Before getting started, I realise that some people may be a little uncomfortable with the subject matter I am about to discuss, but rest assured that everything you are about to read is completely normal with any health person. Inspiration to write and publish this article came from this Oprah article.
Alright! So, you have done your research and and shopped through the wide variety of sex toys that are available on the market and selected the one that you believe will be a perfect fit for exploring a new aspect of your own sexuality. However, you have only realised now that you do not really know what you are going to do with your new toy in order to experience it to its full potential. It’s daunting, especially if you will be using it with a partner for the first time; and for them, the introduction of it may even come across as a terrifying experience.
But with the proper knowledge, you will soon discover the correct way in how you can use your new toy to experience some of the best orgasms that you will ever encounter.
Firstly, there should be no doubt in your mind what your new sex toy is to be used for. These toys are used for bringing about orgasms. For instance – a dildo is a non-vibrating toy that can be used solo, or for a lesbian couple, it can be used with strap-on for some extra excitment. A vibrator is usually used for clitoral or gspot arousal, and butt-plugs may be used for anal play, while lubes can be used to ensure that the experience with any of these toys is more enjoyable.
Let us begin with the dildos. Ensure that you use one that you’ve lubed up really well, as they could become quite dry during use, especially for females that have fluctuating amounts of vaginal lubrication that are released during arousal – even if you’ve been turned on. You simply need to apply some to the shaft of the dildo to ensure it is fully covered. Start of by using it softly and slowly part the entry to the labia with your fingers, subsequently slowly pushing the dildo in further. When you are certain that you’ve found your most comfortable point, fit it in just a little deeper, slowly pushing it up against your gspot area.
Slowly glide the dildo back and forth, gradually increasing the frequency of the insertions, then as you become more comfortable with it, let it build up to a rapid pace. You should have the ability to adapt the positioning of the toy to your own personal contours, and find the position that you feel increases your arousal. One you find that right spot, just keep going at it until you feel that rush run through your body. It might also be useful to close your eyes and begin to fantasise about a sexual setting that turns you on.
You’ll discover that your body will easily get into a rhythm and you’ll be sure to know when you’re about to reach the point of orgasm. You’ll sense the power of the sex toy being squeezed out as your vagina contracts, while you keep fantasising and feeling that pulsation running through your body. You may discover that soon before you expect it, you will start to orgasm, and you’ll keep running the toy through your fingers into your pleasure spot, heightening the sensation until you feel the urge to explode.
A terrific toy to own is the dual vibrator, or better known as the rabbit vibrator, which provides pleasure for both the clitoris and the gspot at the same time – this means you’ll be able to get twice the pleasure from using this type of toy. You can see an excellent selection of these types of toys at Australia’s Best Selling Sex Toys - which is a great online sex toys store in Australia. Many women claim that this type of vibrator is the best kind you can own, because you get twice the value, as well as twice the pleasure from one single toy.
Some women will not need to have to insert their vibrators in order to fully benefit from them. They’re also terrific for clitoral arousal, and actually, this is the preferred method by some women who consider the orgasms to be more intense. Make sure that you’re lying on your back with your legs open widely allowing you to have better control of your vibrator. Maintain the vibration softly around the clitoris until you become aroused and turned-on, and the clitoris starts to release those wonderful sensations through your body. Use soft, circular movements around the clitoris area rather than directly on top of it, because it is extremely difficult to carry on, and an orgasm will likely occur too soon if you put too much pressure directly on the clitoris.
Using an anal sex toy is something that you need to be very careful with – especially if you’ve never experienced any form of stimulation in this area before. Some women do not enjoy it at all it, but there are others that love it so much that they rate it higher than vaginal intercourse. With this type of toy, it is really important to use a good quality lube and to start off really gently.
There are a lot of interesting toys available for you to use, and the limitations are actually only in the imagination. It is possible to blindfold each other and perform such activities as role playing. There’s actually not that much that you can get wrong when experimenting with sex toys, so long as you take the time to understand how to use them properly, as well as using your common sense and being comfortable with the idea of it, and always listening to your own body.
Let’s face it ladies, after menopause, sex isn’t exactly the thing that’s on top of your ‘to do’ list. Zero hormones often equal zero sex drive. When your body stops producing estrogen it effects all aspects of a woman’s life, including your sexual relationships.
Lack of hormones to the vaginal wall can lead to vaginal atrophy meaning less vaginal elasticity and more tightness causing painful intercourse. And most women aren’t too excited about jumping right in when there is pain involved, unless you’re into that whole Fifty Shades of grey thing.
However, just because you have no libido doesn’t mean that your romance has to die. Here are a few tips to help put the spice back to what may be otherwise a bland sexual appetite.
Tip #1 – Use it or lose it ladies; it’s true that the more you have sex the less atrophy will set in. When you use your vaginal muscles it gives the surrounding tissue a chance to stretch, resulting in less vaginal tearing during sex.
Tip #2 – Lube it up; vaginal dryness goes with the menopausal territory, but finding a good lubricant can be the key to bringing sexy back. Using one with glycerine may prove to be a little less irritating than any with menthol or warming tendencies that will literally add fuel to the fire. Find a lube that is tolerated b y both you and your partner.
Tip #4 – Hormone therapy; although controversial some women have found hormone replacement therapy they key to helping them regain their libido. For some women, simply adding back the hormones they are lacking may make them feel better. However, be aware that there is the increased chance of developing certain cancers by using hormone therapy drugs. It is definitely recommended to consult your doctor regarding this.
Tip #4 – Topical oestrogen creams; when applied directly to the vaginal area can help reverse the signs of atrophy. There is virtually no risk at all with topical oestrogen creams, and it does not produce any side effects.
Tip #5 – Communication with your partner; talk with your partner about the changes at hand. Many women post menopause feel that just because they have lost their sex drive, it means they are no longer loved or desirable. This could not be further from the truth. There are many ways to keep both parties interested, just remember what it was that brought you two together in the first place.
Be creative and bring back the romance!
Menopause and sexuality have a strange relationship, decreasing with some women in the onset of menopause and significantly reducing their sexuality while it takes place. Some women enjoy sex more after menopause because, they are free from the fear of pregnancy, but most women feel disenchanted during sex at pre-menopausal and post-menopausal stages.
Menopause brings biological changes in women who experience reduced enjoyment of bodily sensations, which may even cause discomfort during or after sexual intercourse.
Decreases in estrogen secretion and the hormone testosterone is primarily responsible for these changes, as estrogen and progesterone balance is important for a healthy reproductive system and organs in the female body. The lack of estrogen reduces their healing and healthy tissue problems such as vaginal dryness, night sweats, and hot flushes are very common. The lack of testosterone can make women less excited and willing for sex. Postmenopausal women significantly suffer from reduced sexuality and they do not have or do not want sex.
Changes that occur at menopause and reduced sexuality are not medical conditions that require treatment. If a woman is happy and satisfied with a reduced frequency of sex, less erotic fantasies, and lower sexuality in general, then they can go through life without any problems. But if she is unhappy, angry or depressed, then treatment may be required to restore a healthy balance between menopause and sexual appetite.
The emotional changes are not reversible through menopause, and the body’s ability to adapt to circumstances is key in the treatment of menopause and sexuality simultaneously. Good nutrition that is especially rich in estrogen is necessary, as well as ensuring that regular exercise takes place to improve circulation and burn energy should also be part of a daily routine.
The best exercises for women in menopause are walking, jogging, swimming and breathing exercises, as well as exercises for yoga postures and exercises keeping the musculoskeletal system healthy. If you do not take care of yourself while going through menopause you will not feel better about yourself. With exercise and a healthy diet and keeping an eye on your shape and fitness levels, you will also look and feel more attractive which is great for your sexual desire. This will help you deal with the negative effects of menopause and maintain your sexuality.
Even if you do not like sex or do not miss the intimate moments with your partner, you can still pleasure yourself sexually and enjoy the sensation that an orgasm brings. The best way of doing this is with self-masturbation aids such as high quality lelo vibrators from Females Pleasure and other female orientated aids intended for the purpose of self-pleasure.
Although diet and exercise will not bring positive results overnight, it will take some time, but dealing with your sexuality in a positive way will help you get your sex drive and libido back. Get excited and gaining satisfaction with sexual pleasure will not only keep you happy and satisfied, but it will also to improve the health of the reproductive organs by improving circulation. These practices also help to fight against the negative effects of menopause and maintain your sexuality.
Take care of your genitals and reproductive organs because they need more care during and after menopause than before. Blood flow, unbalanced hormones and other issues related to health can have many problems such as infections, allergies, injuries and irritations that are harmful to your general health. Healthy sexual organs give you confidence to enjoy sexual activity more. The bottom line is that if a woman wants to stay sexual, she can keep it well under control without many problems.
It is also a good idea to read books written about menopause, especially those by women who have lived or worked with it. A good book to start with is Dr. Christiane Northrup who wrote a book called: The Wisdom of Menopause: The Complete Guide to physical and emotional health during the change. You can find it on good sites like Amazon.
It’s important to learn more about the experiences of other women in order to help you understand the various ways of dealing with menopause and to reassure yourself that you’re not alone in what you are going through.
Remember, the reality is that you are no less a woman before menopause! You’re only changes are in your reproductive system, but these changes do not affect the essence of what you went through to become a woman.